Third Date

He made it to the third date.  Surely this must be a good sign.  Most men don’t make it past the second date, if you can even call it a date.  Dates, for some reason, seem to consist of  a guy trying to get you to sleep with him nowadays.  Getting to know you isn’t high on the list of priorities any more….at least not with what I keep running into here.  But this time, the third date was coming up after work.

The last two weren’t very interesting so here’s to hoping things will improve.  The last two dates consisted of playing Yahtzee at his kitchen table and listening to him talk about himself–his accomplishments in his hometown, how he was a basketball star in high school, how he recently lost his mother and listening to him read the eulogy he wrote at her funeral, how much money he’s made, his higher-than-average IQ, etc.  I hoped for a more two-way conversation and attributed his chattiness as a bit of nervousness combined with feeling as though he had to impress me immeasurably.

We had a crazy snowstorm that day while I was at work.  The roads were a mess and there were accidents everywhere.  I called him to let him know that I was almost home as I had to tend to my dog before I came over.  I explained to him that the roads were horrible and it was pretty slow-going.  He said that was fine and to drive safely.  I told him I’d give him a ring when I was on my way so he’d know to watch for me.  I made it home and took care of the dog, tending to him and making his dinner.  I then called to say I was on my way.  He said he was patiently waiting for his “beautiful queen bee”.  I chuckled and said I’d see him soon.

When I arrived, the door was unlocked so I walked in as I normally did.  I had taken off my coat and set my purse down and began untying my shoes.  As I slipped off my shoes, he looked in my direction with a sneer and angrily spit the words, “You’re late.”  I was caught off guard with his reaction and calmly stated that he knew I was going to be late.  “I’ve never started a date this late EVER!!!”, he spat at me.  I then explained that I didn’t consider this a real date since we weren’t going anywhere and that the road conditions were out of my control.  I then calmly but simply said, “I can go home if you prefer” and picked up my coat while slipping back into my shoes.

His demeanor suddenly changed and he asked me to stay.  He apologized for being so short with me and then stated he had been waiting for me since 3:30 that afternoon.  I reminded him that I was at work and that he knew I didn’t get off work until 5:30.  He said he didn’t like being made to wait for hours.  I again, calmly, stated that I’d just go home and we could discuss this tomorrow.  He took my coat and set it on the chair and began to hug me, telling me he didn’t want me to leave and that we are going to start fresh.  Once again, we sat and played a couple games of Yahtzee and I was subjected to the occasional lecture on the importance of not keeping someone like him waiting because he could have made other plans with any number of women who would give anything to be in my place right now.

By now, I’ve had about all I can take.  I had originally planned to stay a little later; but at this point, I decided it was time to go home.  (He had also taken the time to explain to me that I’m not as pretty as the women he typically dates and that he typically dates women with “model” figures. )  After the second game ended, I announced that it was time I get home as I had to work in the morning and it was going to take longer than normal to get home due to the road conditions.  He seemed a little disappointed, but said he understood.  He kissed me good night and went to watch TV on the couch.  I detected a bit of anger, but wasn’t going to feed it.  I put on my shoes and coat and went home.

By the time I got to my house, he had tried calling several times and then began texting.  I didn’t bother reading his text until I got home where I could safely read them.  He accused me of treating him worse than he’d ever been treated and that he doesn’t put up with that.  He wished me good luck and said I wasn’t a nice person, accused me of having better offers and have a nice life.

His text infuriated me.  How dare he accuse me of treating him so poorly?  How dare he take the tone of voice he took with me earlier in the evening?  How DARE he!!!  I texted him back and told him that I have explained to him before that I have little to no time during the week because I work 10-hour days, have to tend to my dog (he’s paralyzed), prepare lunch for the next work day, lay out my clothes, try to grab dinner (if I have time), shower and get to bed by 9pm so I can get up at 4:30am to start all over again.  I told him I made an effort to make time for him and that the road conditions were beyond my control and that if THAT made me a bad person in his eyes, then I’m sorry for him.  I wished him luck and said that I know he has far better choices than me, since he has made it a point to remind me of that “fact”.  I told him I’m sorry that he feels the way he does but I accept it and wished him well.  He texted me back to re-iterate what he had said and I refused to answer.  I shut the ringer off and went to bed.

When I awoke, he had texted during the night saying he wanted to talk tomorrow because he didn’t want things to end the way they did and that he missed me.  I didn’t answer.  He continued to text and call every day for at least two weeks.  The last text I received from him stated that “once again” I wasn’t answering his calls.  It made me laugh because I hadn’t answered a phone call since the night he went Sybil on me.  I texted him back to inform him that he drinks too much which makes him volatile and that I don’t need volatile people in my life nor do I wish to have a relationship with that type of person.  I told him I didn’t appreciate that he expected me to date him exclusively while he did what/whoever he wanted.  I told him that he was a classic example an abuser and I wasn’t interested in that type of relationship either.  I ended it with, “I deserve MUCH better than that.”  He asked me to call him.  I didn’t respond.

He has tried to call a few times since only to find that I will not ever answer.  I thought I might have to change my number; but the calls have stopped.  I’m sure he’s found himself a new victim to terrorize.  That’s what he needs: a victim.  I’m a survivor and survivors have a whole different mindset.



~ by unknown2neone on May 17, 2017.

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